Tag Archives: Reinvention

Our Encore Career – 10 Steps to Success

If I had a dollar for every time someone has said to us, “I want to do what you guys did!”, we could retire all over again!  If you have read our history, then you know that we sort of got thrown into the voyage head first.  Even so, there are some things we learned along the way that we can share.  So if you are feeling crushed by your current job, and want to start your own Encore Career, here are some things that you might find helpful.

 1.  Have some sort of savings in place.  That’s right – If you are going to strike out on your own, you need a bit of a safety cushion to cover the cost of day to day expenses for a few months while you get things off the ground.  I’m not talking about your retirement account! Do Not Ever steal from an IRA, even if you think you’ll pay it back!  It’s highly unlikely you ever will!  I’m not talking about a business loan.  It may be the case that you will secure a business loan to get your ideas off the ground – but you need some funds to sustain you outside of business expenses, at least for a little while.

2.  Find your passion.  I asked hubs what his dream job would be if he could choose.  Figure out what the thing is that you would like to do every day, even if it didn’t make you a dime…then figure out a way to make money doing that!  The whole point of the Encore Voyage is not just to be self-employed, but to be on a soul fulfilling journey!  Decide what you want your dream life to look like.

The voice inside

3.  Create an SOQ – A Statement of Qualifications.  It’s where you sit down and write out all of the marketable skills you have that you wish to promote. What are those things you do particularly well?  What goods do you have to sell?  Here is where you showcase your talents and abilities, and describe them in a nice format.

4.  Determine some short-term, mid-term and long-term goals.  Where do you want to be in 6 months, a year, or even five years? How will you know if this voyage is working for you?  Yes, not starving is a good indicator, but it shouldn’t be the only one!  It should be observable and measurable.

5.  Establish your business identity. What will you call yourself?  How will you explain what it is that you do? Will you have a logo? A business name and website?  Do you need/want to register your business with your state? Do you need to establish a separate business banking account? These were all the nagging little details that made the voyage seem scary and intimidating at first.

6.  Establish a fee structure. Do some research to determine the going rates for services or products similar to yours, and to determine what the market will bear.  Get an idea firmly written down of what you will charge for your services or goods.

7.  Take as many steps as possible to minimize business debt at first. Just because you start “a business” does not mean you can take a trip and call it a business expense!  You still need to consider profit and loss.  Hubs and I have very little overhead, because we work from our home, and have no other employees.  We are careful to keep control of our costs.

8.  Keep excellent records. It has taken us a couple of years to wrap our arms around the record keeping.  From costs related to each job, to keeping receipts and filing, you need to be able to see the bottom line quickly and clearly.

9.  Network and advertise yourself.  I think this was the thing that sets Jeremy apart from many others. He has a huge network of people he has met during the years, and I don’t believe he ever burned a bridge!  He started smilin’ and dialin’ – letting people know what he was up to, what he was wanting to do, and what he could possibly do for them.  Sometimes he met colleagues for coffee.  He took others to lunch.  He attended meetings of professional organizations and actively sought out places where he could make an impact.  From helping others to volunteering, the idea is to stay in front of potential clients.  This is not the time to adopt the notion that, “I’m good at what I do, so people will come to me.”  We’ve known several fellow voyagers who followed this course, and have sunk!

10.  Don’t. Stop. Moving.  To be successful on the Encore, you need to have some hustle!  Those who fail are the ones with an “I’ll do it later” attitude.  If you believe that you can do this with a TV flipper in your hand, you are sadly mistaken. Success is not easy…and it is certainly not for the lazy!

Being an entrepreneur

I know what you are thinking…You’re saying, “Wait…I thought you guys were retired!!”  Well, we are…sort of.  We are designing a life doing exactly what we want to do, when we want to do it, where we want to do it, and with whom we want to do it!   All of the steps above sound like crazy hard work, and initially, they were frightening, and nerve wracking. That said, the end result is that

We get to decide what to make of each day!

And as we’ve become more comfortable on the voyage, we often look at each other and say,

“Dang…This is a really sweet gig we’ve got going here!”

Here’s to hoping that you, too, can end up with a “sweet gig!”

Lynn

Photo credit: Sergey Zolkin – Unsplash

Retirement Rituals

Retirement Rituals-What are Yours-

Before the hubs and I started this retirement phase, we got up every morning and headed off to our respective jobs.  Patterns emerged…we sort of fell into a routine of who did what each day, each week.  He got up early and made the coffee.  I figured out what we were having for dinner and made arrangements.

Out the door we went, where we put in our 8 hours working for the man…(ha ha ha – Who am I kidding!  I was a TEACHER for cryin’ out loud).  But wait…I digress…When we finally did arrive home after work, we again settled into the motions of getting all of the required tasks done so that we would be able to successfully get up and do it all again tomorrow.  After 30 years or so, let’s just say

We settled into a routine!

But after just a short time on the Encore Voyage, guess what happened?

The routine got shot to hell!

You see, now, nobody absolutely must be out the door by 7:00 AM anymore. The entire house does not need to be cleaned on a Saturday because we have plenty of time over the course of several days.  We can shop for groceries…together…at midnight…on a Tuesday!  We can read books all night and snooze in the afternoon if need be.  Even our Encore Careers which we’ve developed have flexibility of schedule.  So many times, we just look at each other and say,

“This is a sweet gig.”

We now have time to pause, to reflect, to live our lives with more intention.  We enjoy being together, and are paying attention to what that really means.  Many different sorts of “routines” have started to emerge.  They are ours, they are personal, they are subtle. Some are just plain goofy things we do, some will probably make you gag – and they are all the exact opposite of rushing out the door.

Here’s a few to show you what I mean:

  • When we get up, hubs now comes around to my side of the bed, tucks the covers in around me, and tweaks the end of my nose. (Sickeningly sweet, I know!) I wake up every morning feeling cherished.
  • Often in the evening, we have a glass of wine before dinner.  I don’t know why or when it started, but with every glass of wine I drink, I now hand him my glass and give him the last sip.  My way of saying, “I’d give you everything?
  • Hubs often needs to fly to different project sites.  Not that I worry about his flying, but still…every time he lands at an airport, he sends me the following text – “Tranquility base, the Eagle has landed.”  I am his tranquility base.
  • Now, every morning, because we don’t have to rush off to our respective employers, our dog, Roxy and I head into hub’s office, where we both climb onto his lap for a second and be “daddy’s girls.”  Alright, I know you’re thinking that one is a little over the top…

My point is, we are developing new rituals – new ways of being with each other – that our working lives would not have allowed.  We are creating new life patterns that are based not on a hurried routine, but rather on lingering in the moments that matter.  Who knows – perhaps in retirement we have developed cases of “terminal mushiness.”  When I asked hubs about it, he said, “I don’t know…but I love you, and I appreciate you.”  I am confident that he always has!  But the Encore Voyage has given us time to delight in our new routines.

Lynn

Photo Credit: Emanuel Feruzi – Unsplashed

Retiring with Intention – 12 Ways

Live less out of habit and more out of

This morning I decided to write at the counter, while enjoying my morning coffee and the sunrise as it peeked in my kitchen window.  It occurred to me that before the Encore Voyage, I rarely took the time to just be observant about sights and sounds around me.  The Encore Voyage is changing us…Jeremy and I are choosing to live our lives more intentionally.  We get to decide what to make of each day.  The other night, while enjoying a glass of wine, we made a list of those things in our lives we really value.  Here’s our list:

 

1. Our marriage – We both agreed that this is number one on our list.  Our number one priority is each other.  Jeremy once participated in a leadership training seminar where the speaker instructed the participants to take a sheet of paper, fold it in quarters, then write the things they valued most in each of the four quadrants.  After that was done, participants were instructed to tear off the least valuable thing and throw it away.  This was followed by the next least valuable, and the next, until each person was left holding only one quadrant.  The eye-opening part of the exercise is that people in the room threw their kids, God, their wives in crumpled wads onto the floor…because they thought they should value “becoming a vice president….” 

 

So often we hear that “marriage is hard.”  Call me crazy, but I’ve never found this to be the case.  There is nothing hard about being kind, being thoughtful, putting the other person first – it’s just that over the years we grow complacent, and forget the person we married in the first place.

 

2. Developing soul – enhancing relationships – OK, I must admit that I have stolen this lovely expression from Erika over at All Things E, because she is spot on.  At first, we thought the important thing was our family members…but then we realized that while we will always try to support “family members,” the label of ‘family’ is not what counts.  We have many people in our lives who are closer than family (gal pals, you know who you are).  More importantly, there are people whose relationships we wish to nurture because they add such a fulfilling quality to our lives.  So whether it be relationships with God, with siblings, with family members or with acquaintances, it seems important to intentionally decide how and with whom we spend our time. Thanks Erika, for putting that little tidbit into our brains.

 

3.  Learning new things – One of the best parts of the Voyage has been the opportunity for us to take on new challenges.  When I was teaching, I used to tell my students that they needed to learn something new every day, or they might as well have stayed in bed!  We delight in the notion that there is an entire unexplored world out there and we can learn about anything we can imagine!

 

4. Building and creating – High on our list is the notion that we value our creative yearnings. Anyone who has seen my craft closet knows that I can never be tied down to one thing.  I have stacks of PhD’s (projects half done!)  The opportunity to try our hand at new creative ventures makes us both thrive.

 

5.  Exploring new places – It could be travel, it could be places in our own town. It could be a picnic in the local countryside.  It doesn’t need to cost money.  There is so much in this world to see and experience.  We value our wanderlust!

 

6.  Reading Forever – Borrowed that phrase from Nook at B&N.  So many books, so little time.  Nuf said!

 

7.  Appreciating and making music – Music has been important to both of us since we were very young.  From playing my piano, to learning to play the sax, to enjoying the fruits of our local symphony, to good old rock and roll…we want our lives to have a sound track.  Which brings us to number 8…

 

8. Supporting the arts –  Shakespeare, local theater, dance groups and galleries, just to name a few – Life is about collecting experiences, and the arts provide us with some of the richest.

 

9. Health, physical activity and self-acceptance – We have been giving a lot of thought lately to our pursuit of good health.  We eat a lot healthier lately, and I have logged hundreds of hours at the gym in the last two years, cycling and treadmilling to nowhere and challenging my muscles with weights.  It has occurred to me that all those hours at the gym may not be the best use of time.  What if, perhaps, we actually took a walk or went for a run or swim?  What if we climbed a trail instead of the Stair Master? How about walking the golf course, climbing real stairs, parking at the far side of the parking lot?  It seems to me that an intentional life would value more authentic types of activity.  

 

With that in mind, I’ve also decided that I’m tired of searching for a different me.  Yep, I’m a little heavier than I’d like to be – I’ll keep working on it.  But it does me no good to wish for the body of that college girl 30 years ago.  And it is self-defeating to keep saying, “Six months from now I’ll wear a smaller dress size.”  So I’m committed to doing the best I can to keep this body healthy and strong, and to be OK with the woman in the mirror.

 

10.  Good Food – Exploration for our senses! – Keeping in mind number 9 above, we decided that exploring good, real food is something we both value.  We want to experience the flavors and combinations of different cultures and cuisines – from fresh tomatoes and lettuce that we grow in our garden to cheeses, wines and dishes from other countries.  That’s not an excuse to eat an entire cake in one sitting (again, see number 9.)  It is, however, a statement that protein powders and tofu are just not going to cut it for us…we crave real, whole delicious foods creatively prepared!

 

11.  Taking time for rest, relaxation and meditation – I used to go through life like a freight train.  Now we have realized the value in taking some time to just be…time to think, to recharge, to de-stress and to let go.  Oh, I wish so much that we had learned this value while we were working for others.  Because we now take time for ourselves, the quality of our lives has improved ten-fold.  You should learn. from. our. mistakes!

 

12.  Gratitude and giving back – These days we pay more attention to how blessed we feel to be able to travel this voyage.  We are thankful that we have ‘enough.’  In fact, we have more than we could possibly need.  We’ve come to realize the importance of giving back and have found that greater selflessness is life enriching.  And face it – It’s not hard to look around and find a need to be filled.  

 

When I look at our list, it’s clear to me that none of this is about accumulating “stuff.”  A successful life isn’t about money or possessions.  Every item on this list is about how we act…those behaviors which enrich and give fullness to our lives.  Yes, I realize that people, including us, still need to work for a living.  For us, intentional living is about trying to make our actions fall in line with what we value. It’s about paying attention to what we do, and determining if those actions fit in with our list.

 

So how about it…what do you value in creating an intentional life?  Leave a comment – I’d love to hear!

Lynn

 

Orange is the New…Office?

HPIM1928

Jeremy and I used to share an office in our home.  When we were both employed by others, our office was used for household tasks.  We paid the bills, took care of banking, handled mail, and occasionally played a game of computer solitaire.  When we started running our own business out of our home…let’s just say that things changed – and I’m being nice here.

Slowly, little by little, I began to notice that everything that was “cute” in our mutual office was being systematically REMOVED!  My cute figurines found new homes in the guest bedroom.  My stuff that was left sitting on the desk was now nowhere to be found – it had been tucked away into some drawer.  THE OFFICE had now become HIS OFFICE with a distinctive architectural flair.  (Read: Cherry, chrome, black…)  Until one day I found myself perched on a barstool at the end of our counter, surrounded by the flotsam of my life, and it occurred to me:

I Need a Home for my CRAP!!!

A place; a corner; a drawer…Something!  When you spend so much time together, and perhaps even when you don’t, everyone needs a little personal space, don’t you think?  We were lucky enough to have an extra bedroom that was being used for little more than storage, and with some rearranging of furniture and a gallon of a lovely squash colored paint – I now have my happy place.  It holds the things that I love and that are important to me.  It reflects who I am.  It’s a place where I can work, create or hide…and it’s MINE – All Mine!  So what is your space?  Is it a room, a corner, a nook?  Perhaps you have a special desk or piece of furniture.  How have you created that one place that is uniquely your own?  I can’t wait to hear how others have addressed this problem of too much togetherness!

Lynn

Retirement Togetherness – 10 Steps for 24/7 Success

The best portion of your life

It seems that whenever we tell people our story, one of the first questions they ask is, “How can you stand to be together 24 hours a day???  Apparently, this is the thing that keeps some from making the decision to retire at all. Jeremy has talked with lots of guys who have said, “I’d love to do what you have done, but I can’t imagine what I’d do if I had to stay at home with my wife all day!”  Yikes!  Ladies, I don’t know what we’re doing to scare our men out of retiring, but if your hubs is feeling this way, take him by the hand, get your coffee, sit down and share this blog with him.  It really isn’t that difficult!

I will admit that some of our friends say that our relationship is somehow unique…that we are not a typical couple.  Now I don’t know if that’s true, but I can tell you that, by choice, there are certain premises that we have adopted over the years, that seem to be working during the voyage:

 

1.  We made a conscious decision to be kind and respectful to each other.  Neither one of us will participate in a fight.  I can hear some people right now saying, “If you say you never fight, you must be lying.”  Well, believe what you will, but here’s the deal…My mamma taught me to “keep a civil tongue in my head.”  That advice has rung true for a lifetime.  It does not mean that I am not honest with the hubs, or that we never disagree.  It simply means that if  I’m about to say something hurtful, I bite my tongue!  I will wait until calmer heads prevail, and then we’ll figure out a way to discuss.  I have always judged it this way – Would I say this to my best friend?  Many times, the answer is no – I wouldn’t say something to my best girlfriend because it would hurt her feelings.  Why, oh why, is it true in our culture that married people believe that they can say anything to each other, without regard for hurting feelings!  The one thing I am proudest of in our relationship is that in the 35+ years we’ve been together, Jeremy has never, ever said an unkind word to me!  And while I know this is not true for all, it’s something to consider…

 

2.  We have separate individual spaces in our home.  Early on, we realized that each of us needed a personal space.  In our home, we created separate “offices,” but it could be a desk, a corner, a room, or even a garage.  There is some truth to the concept of the man cave, just as I had need of a ‘woman cave.’  We each need a place to retreat to, to hold our stuff, to call our own…

 

3. We’ve been careful to keep and nurture separate outside interests.  He’s a car guy.  I’m a golf girl.  He has guy pals.  I have gal pals. He does guy stuff.  I do girly, crafty stuff.  The point is that by continuing to go our separate ways, learning new things, making new friends, engaging with others, we bring a fresh perspective and new topics of conversation to the table.

 

4. We’ve learned new things about each other…and adjusted.  You would think that after being together for so long, a couple would know just about everything there is to know about each other.  WRONGO!  I would never have believed it myself, but being together during the work day hours was very illuminating.  Who knew that the hubs was such a linear thinker, who absolutely hates to be interrupted when he’s involved in a task.  For a couple of months there, I about drove him crazy when I would derail his train of thought.  I’m sure he learned some choice things about how I operate as well.  The point is that we always keep #1 in mind, while working out ways to co-exist!

 

5. We became more flexible in our roles around the house.  It’s not unusual that during their working careers, people fall into a sort of routine about who does what in running and maintaining the household – He mows the lawn, She does the laundry, He takes out the garbage, She does the cooking…But when the perception of available time changes, the nature of the roles must change as well.  Early on, I started feeling like I was the “charwoman” at our house, while he was working hard to build the business.  We learned that we needed our roles to be more flexible.


6.  We plan, always with consideration of the other person in mind. We share a calendar on our computer, and we make sure that we communicate what events get scheduled. Neither gets to plan an event involving both without consulting the other.  No one’s event is more important than the other’s.  You would think this would be a no-brainer.  But in retirement, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “Of course, we’ll both be there!”  Or, “Sure, I can schedule the plumber to come, cuz hubs will be home.” It only takes a couple of times of misguided expectations to figure this one out.  I hope you learn from our missteps…


7.  We’ve become better listeners.  
You see numbers 1-6 above?  Well, in order to make them work, you’ve got to listen…really listen to what your partner needs, thinks and feels.  Just sayin’.


8.  We find ways not to take it all too seriously, and to laugh at the quirky things that happen daily.  And they will happen…believe me they will! I did not know until recently that hubs is able to quote a huge amount of Looney Tunes dialog!


9.  We are a team in all things.  We plan together, make lists together, prioritize together, budget together.  I can see why the guys in the introduction to this piece don’t want to be home if they feel that they are alone in the journey.  The voyage is a shared one in every way.


10.  And finally, our guiding principle – When we were first married, we both read John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. (Gray, 1992), and for all of our married lives we have taken to heart what we believe to be the most important phrase of the book:

 

Men want to be appreciated, 

Women want to be cherished.

 

It’s quite simple really, and if you think about it, so very, very true.  And to that end, I try to make sure that every day of his life, I let Jeremy know how much I appreciate him – things he does for our business, for me personally, for us as a couple.  And every single day of my life, I feel truly cherished by him.  And in the end, that’s all it really takes!

Lynn

Affording the Encore – 12 Ways We Cut Costs

When we first began the Encore Voyage, we had a few moments of total freak out at our complete loss of income stream!  Then, cooler heads prevailed and we took a deep breath. We realized that we would most likely not starve, at least for a day or two.  To all you youngsters (and by that I mean anyone under the age of 40), listen to me now:

 

We are living proof that you absolutely, positively,
need to have an emergency savings plan in place!

 

And that means before you go out and buy those jet skis or that snowmobile that you think you absolutely must have!  You don’t need it nearly as much as you will need to live in the event that you lose your income!  Just sayin’…

 

So back to the story…For the first couple of months we were able to draw upon our savings, without raiding our retirement account, while we figured out what to do.  We decided to start our own small business, and having some cash set aside allowed us to get that started. Having your own business takes lots of work and drive, and is the topic of many other blogs, from which we have learned a great deal.  But I also started following The Minimalists and Be More With Less, and I started thinking about how much we really need to be happy.  Now don’t get me wrong – this is not about being cheap.  I want to have some cash in hand just as much as the next girl.  But it is about really evaluating how and where you spend your hard earned money…and that’s where we woke up!

 

In the years when there was a much bigger income in this household, we spent a great deal.  I don’t want to think of it as being wasteful, but let’s just say we ‘squandered’ quite a bit.  We didn’t really give it much thought until recently. The Encore Voyage has started us thinking about some ways in which we could be wiser about our spending:

 

1)  We reduced our cable TV package to the minimum package.  When you actually sit down and calculate the cost of higher level movie/sports packages and then compare that figure to the number of movies or events you actually see, the cost per viewing for this convenience can be ridiculous.  You can rent a lot of movies from Red Box for a buck…


2) We paid attention to how we use the heat and air conditioning in our house.  Rather than just set the thermostat and forget it, we took an active role in closing shades, opening windows, adding another layer of clothes…and cut our heating and cooling bills by 4-10% over the previous year.


3) We cancelled our subscription to the newspaper.  It was a habit that was simply adding to the bulk of the recycle bin.  Lots of access to local and national news is available on my tablet.  There’s even too much news and I must be cautious not to let electronic media rule my mornings!  I even found a free app to replace the comics and my favorite daily word puzzles!


4) I monitored our cell phone use and ultimately reduced our data package.  Not because we put ourselves on any type of data diet, but because we were previously paying for data that we were not using!


5) We have changed the way we eat.  We now rarely eat at fast food restaurants.  Not only is this change way healthier for us, but it saves us a lot of money!  It is amazing how much fast food we used to grab, just for convenience. Seriously – I used to have the phone number for Pizza Hut memorized!


6) We plan, shop for, and cook more meals at home.  I’m a much better cook now that I have time to plan and shop for groceries.  I’m not “extreme” about any of it, but a coupon here and a trip to Costco there all adds up to savings.  Not to mention that we have found we actually love cooking, chopping, and drinking wine in the kitchen together – 
An added benefit!


7) We got rid of a bunch of magazine subscriptions. That stack of magazines that are sitting there unread???  Yeah those – You don’t need them!  You can find most of that stuff on line, and I have learned that your magazines should not cause you stress!  Bu-bye!


8) We turn off the lights!  There were times when this house was lit up like a Christmas tree! Crazy wasteful!


9) I download books from the public library.  Probably cut my book purchases in half!  My 
Carpe Librum post will tell you how.


10) We spend waaaayyyyy less money on both gas and clothing.  Because we now work primarily from home, we don’t need nearly as much.  The savings on gasoline is huge!  And because our minimalist efforts are paying off, reducing all those clothes in the closets just makes everything seem lighter and less stressful!


11) I don’t know if this is going to be a savings, but because I have more time, I make many of the gifts I give.  Shhhhhh…don’t tell – quilted things for everyone!  And lots of pleasure for me!


12) Our most recent step was to get rid of our land line telephone!  Why is it that everyone under the age of 35 has already done this, and everyone over the age of 35 has a hard time cutting the cord?  We took the plunge, because the only calls on that number were usually solicitations! …And just like that, there’s another 20 bucks, and we found we really didn’t miss it!


So, you see, it’s not about being cheap.  It’s about paying attention to where the money goes!  And it’s about deciding with intentionality how you want to live.  So how about it…Do you have any other strategies that you’ve used to cut costs?  Please be sure to share in the comments!

Lynn

After Retirement – Who Are Your 2:00 AM Friends?

Do you know who your 2:00 AM friends are?  You know, the people in your life whom, if you were in trouble or needed help, you would not be afraid to call in the middle of the night?  They are the ones who, without question, would come running.  Jeremy and I are blessed to have several people in our lives that we can, with certainty, classify as “2:00 AM friends.”

 

Lately, in our conversations about intentional living and simplicity, we started making a list of things we truly value.  High on the list was a phrase we borrowed from All Things E’s post – “fulfilling, soul-enhancing relationships.”  Wow!  That’s a pretty powerful and moving descriptor!

 

And that started us talking about the relationships we’ve formed, both new and old.  For example, we recently traveled to Portland for a conference, where we were able to connect again with what I called “annual friends.” Every year, we attend this conference.  There are friends at this event that we see only once a year.  Each year, we get to know them a little better, become a little closer.  And each year, we meet new people – people who sort of take your breath away with their intellect, personalities and skills.  Amazingly talented, funny, awesomeness – Truly soul enhancing!  Next year, they’ll be among the “annual friends,” and already I can’t wait to see them and to add more to the group.

True Friendship

And then there are those friendships that have been formed in our pre-retirement years.  Often, they were forged as a direct result of our careers.  It’s no surprise that many of my friends are educators, or that Jeremy’s friends come from the fields of architecture or construction.  So what happens when you retire, and you no longer have that “day-to-day, in-the-office” contact? We’ve started paying attention to the value each of these people has brought to our lives, while making intentional plans to keep those friendships strong – phone calls, lunches together, notes and cards, invitations to just hang out, golf games, and yes, even social media has played a part.


If we didn’t make a conscious effort, valuable friendships could slip away during this Encore Voyage.  It is because we value those “fulfilling, soul-enhancing relationships” that we must be mindful in taking deliberate actions toward preserving and enhancing them.


So how about you?  What meaningful steps are you taking to cement your 2:00 AM friendships and to create new ones?

Lynn