Tag Archives: Baby Boomers

Before You Take the Retirement Leap – 10 Questions to Consider

We have a very dear friend who is six months to a year away from making the leap into retirement.  He has worked long, hard hours to make sure that he and his wife will be financially ready.  In his mind, I think he envisions retirement as just “stopping.”  But at the Voyage, we’ve learned that there is a lot more to consider:

  1. Do you have a plan?  You are about to enter your own “second act.”  Think of this as an opportunity to start over…to redesign your life to be any way you wish it could be!  An architect friend of ours recently published the book, “Life-A-Tecture: Build an Experience-Driven Life.”  It’s a great read, full of timely advice and lots of motivation.
  2. Do you really want to be just ‘done’?  Perhaps you want to consult, teach or work part-time.  Is there a different way to continue with only the best parts of your current job?
  3. What are you curious about? What is it that will get you up in the morning?  Do you have a passion, something you wish you could do, something you’ve always wanted to try or learn?  You know how when you are so busy with working and the day-to-day grind that you never have the time to xxx (fill in the blank here).  Well, you are about to get that time, so give it some thought!
  4. What is your hobby or interest?  Now is the time to start considering what you need to pursue that hobby.  Are there art classes nearby?  Do you need to finally purchase that kayak?
  5. Is there an opportunity for you to give back?  If you are like us, you have led a very blessed working career and have a lifetime of experience.  Now may be the time for you to volunteer, participate in a professional organization or give back to your community.
  6. Do you have a sense of adventure?  I’m pretty certain that no one who enters retirement does so thinking, “I know…I think I’ll sit here in my recliner in front of the TV every day until they haul my sorry behind away.”  You need to develop a sense of giddy freedom!
  7. How will you maintain your circle of friends?  This is a big one.  Because a primary source of our contacts come from a work environment, you need to keep and expand your relationships with intentionality.  We’ve found that professional organizations, clubs, coffee groups and even social media have been critical in keeping us from ever feeling lonely.
  8. Do you plan to travel?  There are lots of issues to consider with traveling, including destinations, traveling styles, and the ins-and-outs of traveling together. Time to start dreaming, discussing and planning!
  9. For those of you who are married, are you ready to be together 24/7?  This is a huge thing to consider!  It was probably the steepest learning curve we had when we started the Encore Voyage.  In “Life-A-Tecture” our friend has made this his #1 Rule:  “Marry the right person.  If you have not married the right person, you have got problems.  That person should be the love of your life and your best friend.” We have found his advice to be spot on, and share even more hints in Retirement Togetherness – 10 Steps for 24/7 Success.
  10. What are your DREAMS and GOALS?  Because you see, Retirement is NOT an END!  It is just a beginning of a new adventure.  A new Voyage, if you will.  To be really successful in retirement, you need to have some new and bigger plans for the future!

So how about it.  If you could give one piece of advice to someone who is about to retire, what (non-financial)  advice would that be?  I’m anxious to hear the things I’ve missed!

Lynn

 

 

 

 

Encore Quotes – Random Reflections

13-The things you are passionate about

In a comment this week, Janis at Retirementally Challenged asked me if we have a plan for the day when we will say, “No more.”  It started quite a conversation between hubs and me.  We realized that we may never stop altogether.  We love the things we’re doing, and we’re designing our lives on the Encore Voyage to fulfill one of our core values of personal growth.  So how about it…What are you passionate about?  What’s your calling?

Have a great weekend!Lynn

Retirement Togetherness – 10 Steps for 24/7 Success

The best portion of your life

It seems that whenever we tell people our story, one of the first questions they ask is, “How can you stand to be together 24 hours a day???  Apparently, this is the thing that keeps some from making the decision to retire at all. Jeremy has talked with lots of guys who have said, “I’d love to do what you have done, but I can’t imagine what I’d do if I had to stay at home with my wife all day!”  Yikes!  Ladies, I don’t know what we’re doing to scare our men out of retiring, but if your hubs is feeling this way, take him by the hand, get your coffee, sit down and share this blog with him.  It really isn’t that difficult!

I will admit that some of our friends say that our relationship is somehow unique…that we are not a typical couple.  Now I don’t know if that’s true, but I can tell you that, by choice, there are certain premises that we have adopted over the years, that seem to be working during the voyage:

 

1.  We made a conscious decision to be kind and respectful to each other.  Neither one of us will participate in a fight.  I can hear some people right now saying, “If you say you never fight, you must be lying.”  Well, believe what you will, but here’s the deal…My mamma taught me to “keep a civil tongue in my head.”  That advice has rung true for a lifetime.  It does not mean that I am not honest with the hubs, or that we never disagree.  It simply means that if  I’m about to say something hurtful, I bite my tongue!  I will wait until calmer heads prevail, and then we’ll figure out a way to discuss.  I have always judged it this way – Would I say this to my best friend?  Many times, the answer is no – I wouldn’t say something to my best girlfriend because it would hurt her feelings.  Why, oh why, is it true in our culture that married people believe that they can say anything to each other, without regard for hurting feelings!  The one thing I am proudest of in our relationship is that in the 35+ years we’ve been together, Jeremy has never, ever said an unkind word to me!  And while I know this is not true for all, it’s something to consider…

 

2.  We have separate individual spaces in our home.  Early on, we realized that each of us needed a personal space.  In our home, we created separate “offices,” but it could be a desk, a corner, a room, or even a garage.  There is some truth to the concept of the man cave, just as I had need of a ‘woman cave.’  We each need a place to retreat to, to hold our stuff, to call our own…

 

3. We’ve been careful to keep and nurture separate outside interests.  He’s a car guy.  I’m a golf girl.  He has guy pals.  I have gal pals. He does guy stuff.  I do girly, crafty stuff.  The point is that by continuing to go our separate ways, learning new things, making new friends, engaging with others, we bring a fresh perspective and new topics of conversation to the table.

 

4. We’ve learned new things about each other…and adjusted.  You would think that after being together for so long, a couple would know just about everything there is to know about each other.  WRONGO!  I would never have believed it myself, but being together during the work day hours was very illuminating.  Who knew that the hubs was such a linear thinker, who absolutely hates to be interrupted when he’s involved in a task.  For a couple of months there, I about drove him crazy when I would derail his train of thought.  I’m sure he learned some choice things about how I operate as well.  The point is that we always keep #1 in mind, while working out ways to co-exist!

 

5. We became more flexible in our roles around the house.  It’s not unusual that during their working careers, people fall into a sort of routine about who does what in running and maintaining the household – He mows the lawn, She does the laundry, He takes out the garbage, She does the cooking…But when the perception of available time changes, the nature of the roles must change as well.  Early on, I started feeling like I was the “charwoman” at our house, while he was working hard to build the business.  We learned that we needed our roles to be more flexible.


6.  We plan, always with consideration of the other person in mind. We share a calendar on our computer, and we make sure that we communicate what events get scheduled. Neither gets to plan an event involving both without consulting the other.  No one’s event is more important than the other’s.  You would think this would be a no-brainer.  But in retirement, it’s easy to fall into the trap of “Of course, we’ll both be there!”  Or, “Sure, I can schedule the plumber to come, cuz hubs will be home.” It only takes a couple of times of misguided expectations to figure this one out.  I hope you learn from our missteps…


7.  We’ve become better listeners.  
You see numbers 1-6 above?  Well, in order to make them work, you’ve got to listen…really listen to what your partner needs, thinks and feels.  Just sayin’.


8.  We find ways not to take it all too seriously, and to laugh at the quirky things that happen daily.  And they will happen…believe me they will! I did not know until recently that hubs is able to quote a huge amount of Looney Tunes dialog!


9.  We are a team in all things.  We plan together, make lists together, prioritize together, budget together.  I can see why the guys in the introduction to this piece don’t want to be home if they feel that they are alone in the journey.  The voyage is a shared one in every way.


10.  And finally, our guiding principle – When we were first married, we both read John Gray’s Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. (Gray, 1992), and for all of our married lives we have taken to heart what we believe to be the most important phrase of the book:

 

Men want to be appreciated, 

Women want to be cherished.

 

It’s quite simple really, and if you think about it, so very, very true.  And to that end, I try to make sure that every day of his life, I let Jeremy know how much I appreciate him – things he does for our business, for me personally, for us as a couple.  And every single day of my life, I feel truly cherished by him.  And in the end, that’s all it really takes!

Lynn