Retirement Travel Togetherness – 13 Compromises to Consider!

Hubs and I are getting ready to do some more Voyaging!  Next week, we’ll head to Phoenix, Arizona, escaping what is predicted to be the next wave of snowy weather here in Idaho.

In our years on the Voyage, we’ve learned some things about traveling together.  It hasn’t always come without some tensions and bumps in the road.  But as I’m sure many other retirees can attest, there are compromises which must be made:

Relaxation vs. Adventure – I’m more of an adrenaline junkie.  He’s more of a sip wine and read kind of guy.

Planned out or “Fly by the Seat of Our Pants” – Our compromise is usually a little of each.  I like to do some initial research.  We schedule things only as the events require.  (We’ve been saddened when attractions were closed on the day we wanted to visit.)

On water vs. On land – Some people love cruising.  Others can’t stand the idea of being stuck in the middle of the ocean.  Some crave the beach, others, the mountains.

Fly, drive or travel by other means – My brother-in-law will die before he will board an airplane.  Good to know.

Lots of driving or Little-to-no driving – Depending on the location, sometimes we take our own car, sometimes we rent, sometimes we hire car services, and sometimes it’s Uber or Lyft.  And did I mention that a smaller type RV is in our future?

The question of music – Yes, No and What Type? – In the car, sometimes our music tastes differ.  He likes classical, I prefer contemporary. Our best compromise is mid-seventies rock, turned up loud, with both of us singing at the top of our lungs!  Reliving our college romance!

Where to stay, and how much work that will involve – I’ve heard folks say, “If I have to cook and make my own bed, it’s not a vacation.  Sometimes we choose hotels, sometimes Airbnb , or rental condos, sometimes high-end resorts.

“Sleep in” or “Up and at ’em” – There is nothing more annoying than having someone try to wake you up when you’re on vacation.  Or conversely, there is nothing worse than tapping your toe waiting for someone to get up and ready.

Temperature and weather considerations – It’s amazing how many people responded to my McCall post with comments about how we could just keep our Idaho snow.  But some of us know that the correct clothing and preparedness makes this a winter playground.  Many would disagree.

Amount of down time – This is an important one.  Some people like to go, go, go, while others need or want more frequent breaks, and packing the day full of activities is not so fun.

Airports – When is the “right” time to arrive? – Surprisingly, this can be a point of contention.  While hubs wants to leave absolutely nothing to chance, I’m a bit more of a “what’s the worst thing that can happen?” kind of girl.  Depending on where we’re going and the travel conditions, we negotiate our departure times.

Shopping or No shopping – My advice is to be sensitive.  If your hubs is not a browser, please don’t torture him.  It’s his vacation, too.  As for us, we spend little money acquiring more “stuff,” so it’s not really an issue.  We both like to nose in unique, non-touristy, craftsman type of shops. (We do look for a “not cheesy” Christmas ornament to represent each adventure.)

Different Interests during different trips – We took a trip to the midwest, with the primary purpose of visiting all things Frank Lloyd Wright – including Taliesin in Wisconsin, and the Robie House in Chicago.  Our first visit to the Phoenix/Scottsdale area, over ten years ago, was for all things automotive – The Barrett-Jackson car auction and Bondurant High Performance Driving School for hubs. Our trips to St. Louis and New Orleans were primarily in search of jazz and blues.

In each of the above instances, communication is the key!  It is far better to discuss things before you go, rather than to discover them after you arrive, or, even worse, to brood in silence when you find situations which test your compatibility!

As we return to Scottsdale this time, we’re soaking up warmth and a vibrant art scene enmeshed in Southwest culture.

So how about it, fellow voyagers?  What compromises in travel have you needed to make as you go wandering during retirement?

Lynn

 

37 thoughts on “Retirement Travel Togetherness – 13 Compromises to Consider!

  1. Carol

    Since you have an interest in Frank Lloyd Wright don’t miss a visit to Taliesin West in Scottsdale during your trip. A drive to Sedona should be considered as well. Have a wonderful trip!

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      In 2008, I arranged for a private tour of Taliesin for hubs 50th birthday gift. Given by one of the Taliesin architects, we were able to see behind the scenes which are not typically included on the public tours. I even was allowed to play FLLW’s Steinway piano! And Sedona is on Our List!

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  2. Kate Crimmins

    After many years my husband and I do well traveling together. We are not afraid to split up if he wants to go biking and I want to read a book. We share enough common interests to make any trip fun! Have a wonderful time soaking up the warmth!

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  3. patwdoyle11

    We have not traveled as much as I would like in retirement. That’s the big compromise – I’ve come to the realization that hubby is much more of a homebody than I am. So our trips are fewer, and more planned out. Luckily we do love many of the same things – lots of walking, lots of eating new things, exploring those unique craftsman stores & art galleries & farmers markets. Neither of us is much for crowds – it’s why we did so many National Park visits (most off peak season). Hubby won’t do another cruise (he did try one) and is only tolerant of fully guided tours (like our Africa trip). I’m wanting to try for a RV-based trip – Route 66 perhaps. That’s will be a very new experience for us!

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      We would really like to do Route 66, too! I imagine RV travel would allow us to have as much quiet time as we’d like. And we’d very much like to do many more National Parks! You are well ahead of us in many ways! ~ Lynn

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  4. Retirement Reflections

    Hi, Lynn – This is a great list of compromises to consider when traveling. Richard and I know each other so well, and are so happy to be on any adventure together that usually travel compromises come easy for us. We are in the midst of trying to plan a getaway with one of our sons and his partner. Due to everyone’s individual schedules (they’re working we’re not, partner hates hiking….three of us love it, etc. etc) that one’s not so easy. I’ll keep you posted.

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  5. Dan Antion

    Good list. My wife isn’t a fan of travel, so I won’t have to worry about much of this. After 40 plus years working, most with a good amount of travel, I am set in my travel ways. I travel a fair amount with our daughter and some, lately with my brother. Interrupting the expectations can really mess up a day.

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  6. Liesbet @ Roaming About

    This is a great topic, Lynn! Something to consider whenever Mark and I ever go on a vacation. By now, we luckily are pretty much in tune living a life “on the road” 24/7 for over a decade. That being said, we are different people and some of your topics bring back ideas, memories and the realization of known differences. I am uptight about certain things and relaxed about others, while it can easily be the other way around in different situations. The plane ride, when to arrive and when to cue is one example. Sometimes, I prefer to fly by myself because of this. 🙂

    Over time, I have given up the desire to do, see, or visit “everything”. Compromises have to be made in relationships.

    Have a wonderful time in Phoenix! We hope to go and warm up there at some point in March. And what’s the rumor about a smaller type RV in your future?

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      Some day, we’d like to try a smaller, Class B travel van. Don’t necessarily want to live in it full time, but we’re too old for tent camping, and I want a little fridge for wine and cheese!

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      1. Liesbet @ Roaming About

        That’s what we have. A small class B. Fits in a normal parking spot and has “everything” – a fridge, wine and cheese. 🙂 Oh, and a bathroom, stove, storage, dinette and bed. Fun and comfortable for weekends and longer. You’ll love it!

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      2. Encore Voyage Post author

        Yep, that’s what we’re looking for! I had asked about Zesty before, and have started looking, but I think we’ll be hard pressed to find another like Zesty! Perhaps something close, because we, too, do not want to drag our entire home behind us.

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  7. Anabel Marsh

    John travels a lot on business so he’s much more blasé about rolling up to the airport at the last minute than I am. Other than that, we’ve grown to be pretty similar in our travel tastes. The only other thing I can think of is that he would hike further (and higher!)

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  8. RetirementallyChallenged.com

    I’m very fortunate that my husband and I have very similar travel personalities. And, fortunately, we also like different modes of travel too. We enjoy staying in one spot for a while, but we also love road trips. Route 66 was mentioned in an earlier comment – we did that about three years ago (St. Louis to Flagstaff) and had the BEST TIME. I really encourage you to make the trip along the “Mother Road” soon, before more of it is gone. I bet I know what type of music you’d be singing along to on that trip!

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  9. Shallow Reflections

    We are planners because up to this point we’ve only had a week at a time to go somewhere. I anticipate we can be more laid back and spontaneous when we are both retired. It’s like we have a clock ticking the moment any vacation starts and we need to make the most of it. I’d like to get a conversion van and do some road trips with it. I don’t want to have a big RV or set up a tent, but a small van would give us what we need without managing a monstrous vehicle. Lots to think about!

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  10. Terri Webster Schrandt

    These are great tips that many folks may not think about. Luckily my hubby and are are uber compatible when traveling–we both like adventure but with down-time, same music, modes, etc. He always says “It’s your vacation, too,” when I have had to compromise with family visits out of town. That frees me up to quit feeling guilty about trying to do everything!

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  11. Jo

    Aaah yes, the compromises…I recently blogged a Couples Travel Quiz to show the differences in our travel styles. As different as we are, after nearly 30 years together he’s still my favourite person to travel with. #TeamLovinLife

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  12. Deborah

    My blogging friend Jo mentions above she did a similar couples travel quiz and I enjoyed reading her responses and the compromises she and her husband make for each other.

    Sadly I’m single (and have always been) so I never really have to worry about anyone else. I am however, soon taking a short trip with my sister-in-law so that should prove interesting – though it’s only 6 days or so, so should be fine.
    #teamlovinlife

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      Interesting, because I have always wanted to try “solo travel” just for the experience, but doubt I ever will, just because it seems somehow wrong not to invite the hubs! ~ Lynn

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  13. leannelc

    My husband and I are very different in what we look for in a vacation – almost all your compromises are ones we both make regularly when it comes to having a holiday. Still, variety is the spice of life and I wouldn’t swap him for the world – he gets me up and going, I slow him down a bit – now we just have to work out how to wake up at the same time!

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      I wouldn’t trade mine either! Sometimes I know that internally, he’s tapping his foot, wishing I’d hurry up. But he never says anything. Just reads a book or something! ~ Lynn

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  14. kathymarris

    It does help to be on the same page as your co-travellers. A few years ago I went to Thailand with a group of 5 other women and we were completely incompatible. We drove one another crazy! My best travel companion is normally my husband, but he hates shopping! #TeamLovinLife

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  15. Emma

    Thankfully my husband and I don’t have to do much compromising as we like similar things, though having a little one does mean more beach and pool holidays than we ever had pre-kid.

    Liked by 1 person

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