Colonoscopy fun! — Wait, what???!!!

A couple of years ago, I had my first colonoscopy. It was a routine event, and happened just because I had reached that “age” when it was recommended by my doctor. So, I drank the huge bottle of camel slobber, and quite literally, went about my business. It wasn’t all that bad, really. Actually, not too much different than when I eat shrimp and drink Bloody Marys in the same meal…TOO MUCH INFORMATION! I apologize–I digress…

Because I am somewhat a huge chicken, the nurse graciously offered to give me a knock you out dose of foo-foo juice, which would send me happily off into la-la land. With hubs at my side to support me, I heard her ask him his name. She wanted to write his name on my wrist band so that she would know who to call in the waiting room when the procedure was finished.  And just before I floated off into a drug induced nap, I heard my smart-assed husband reply,

“Just write ‘Christian Grey!'”

In what seemed like only seconds (anesthesia works like that, you know) I found myself awakening in a room filled with chuckling people.

So you see, for about a day’s worth of preparatory pain in the ass, you too can find the humor in your colonoscopy.  It’s really not that big of a deal, and at least in my case, makes for a great story.So why, oh why, am I choosing to tell you about my colonoscopy??? Because at this very minute, my best friend is sitting in a waiting room at the hospital while the surgeons remove a mass from her husband’s colon.  All signs are hopeful that it will not be malignant.  It could have turned into a huge problem.  But he was a big boy and went and had the colonoscopy which very well may have saved his life.

So I would encourage you to do yourself a favor, and schedule the appointment that you most likely have been putting it off.  Have some fun with it!   Just imagine how awesome it is to wake up to someone telling you…

Mr. Grey will see you now!

Lynn

20 thoughts on “Colonoscopy fun! — Wait, what???!!!

  1. snakesinthegrass2014

    I still haven’t forgiven a former doctor for making me have one at 47 instead of 50 (nothing was found, thankfully). It just means that I will always have to now have one three years earlier than I should. I’ll be cursing her next year when I have my next one! Great post, important topic.

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  2. Barb@livingrichlyinretirement

    I am overdue for a follow up (I hate being put to sleep for anything and it interferes with life and this. I had a very small polop, and need to go. I was looking at the virtual one if my dr will give me the option, but you still have to drink that sh..t. I have had the occult blood, and I take two aspirin daily, but its time to bite the bullet one way or the other.

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      As I said in one of the other comments, the “sh*t” you drink is now much improved – Oh…and use a big fat straw! That’s a big help and you can suck the stuff down without tasting it too much!

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  3. Retirementallychallenged.com

    Great advice! I had a sigmoidoscopy (which I think is just a tad less invasive… if you know what I mean) several years ago. I can’t say it was pleasant, but no one should put these things off due to fear. I never read 50 Shades, but even I got the reference… your hubby is funny!

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  4. Melissa

    Lol! I love this post. Colon cancer runs in my family, so I have been tested every five years since I was 30. This year is my big year again. woo – hoo! Laughing about it is the best way to cope…and the thing is, there are always funny stories to go with a colonoscopy! Apparently I get very sentimental when I come out of my little twilight sleep. I tell all of the nurses how wonderful they are, compliment my husband, etc.. So I fear what will come out of my mouth more than I fear the procedure!

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    1. Encore Voyage Post author

      My friend told me the story of a couple who purchased a new pick-up on the afternoon of his colonoscopy! He woke up the next day and didn’t remember buying it! It forever became known as the “colonoscopy truck!” 🙂

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  5. Pingback: Seven Ways to Make Retirement Seem Easy | An Encore Voyage

  6. Encore Voyage Post author

    Thanks to everyone who has sent prayers and good wishes! Here’s the update – my friends got the pathology report today. That huge mass was BENIGN! So let’s all be gettin’ those colons “scopied”, shall we? Reports are that it was literally life saving in this instance! Insert happy dance here…

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