Before the hubs and I started this retirement phase, we got up every morning and headed off to our respective jobs. Patterns emerged…we sort of fell into a routine of who did what each day, each week. He got up early and made the coffee. I figured out what we were having for dinner and made arrangements.
Out the door we went, where we put in our 8 hours working for the man…(ha ha ha – Who am I kidding! I was a TEACHER for cryin’ out loud). But wait…I digress…When we finally did arrive home after work, we again settled into the motions of getting all of the required tasks done so that we would be able to successfully get up and do it all again tomorrow. After 30 years or so, let’s just say
We settled into a routine!
But after just a short time on the Encore Voyage, guess what happened?
The routine got shot to hell!
You see, now, nobody absolutely must be out the door by 7:00 AM anymore. The entire house does not need to be cleaned on a Saturday because we have plenty of time over the course of several days. We can shop for groceries…together…at midnight…on a Tuesday! We can read books all night and snooze in the afternoon if need be. Even our Encore Careers which we’ve developed have flexibility of schedule. So many times, we just look at each other and say,
“This is a sweet gig.”
We now have time to pause, to reflect, to live our lives with more intention. We enjoy being together, and are paying attention to what that really means. Many different sorts of “routines” have started to emerge. They are ours, they are personal, they are subtle. Some are just plain goofy things we do, some will probably make you gag – and they are all the exact opposite of rushing out the door.
Here’s a few to show you what I mean:
- When we get up, hubs now comes around to my side of the bed, tucks the covers in around me, and tweaks the end of my nose. (Sickeningly sweet, I know!) I wake up every morning feeling cherished.
- Often in the evening, we have a glass of wine before dinner. I don’t know why or when it started, but with every glass of wine I drink, I now hand him my glass and give him the last sip. My way of saying, “I’d give you everything?
- Hubs often needs to fly to different project sites. Not that I worry about his flying, but still…every time he lands at an airport, he sends me the following text – “Tranquility base, the Eagle has landed.” I am his tranquility base.
- Now, every morning, because we don’t have to rush off to our respective employers, our dog, Roxy and I head into hub’s office, where we both climb onto his lap for a second and be “daddy’s girls.” Alright, I know you’re thinking that one is a little over the top…
My point is, we are developing new rituals – new ways of being with each other – that our working lives would not have allowed. We are creating new life patterns that are based not on a hurried routine, but rather on lingering in the moments that matter. Who knows – perhaps in retirement we have developed cases of “terminal mushiness.” When I asked hubs about it, he said, “I don’t know…but I love you, and I appreciate you.” I am confident that he always has! But the Encore Voyage has given us time to delight in our new routines.
An Encore Voyage 
That is so sweet… You kids – go get a room somewhere! I had a friend in Cincinnati who said that after her youngest went off to college, she and her hub would do the wild thing on the family room floor watching Andy Griffith re-runs! You never know what those new routines will bring! 🙂
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We also developed different routines after retirement but not quite like yours. (If my husband tweaked my nose first thing in the morning he’d likely have a handful of snot!) We do share lunch most days and get to tell each other the same thing over and over again. He is the bartender like I rustle up grub. All on a peaceful non-schedule. We love it!
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Tranquility base…gotta love that one. ☺ The best routine is that there is no routine, and pretty much no schedule. Sometimes we eat a big meal at noon, and snack later, often we eat at 4 or 7 or not at all. Sleep when we need to, I like an afternoon nap. We are both walkers, but go separately, at a much different pace and gait length. We share a lot more household chores, with eye surgery…he sees dust that I do not. We both do laundry, dishes, etc. And in the evening, we set up the coffee together for the next morning. All in all, much more relaxed. 💕
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Gotta love it! Hubs now picks up after me!
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Great post, Lynn! My husband and I haven’t really established any true routines yet but we are trying out different things and really enjoying our non-routine. I am looking forward to discovering what routines do emerge, and stick, for us. Thanks for exploring this topic.
Donna
http://www.retirementreflections.com
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Mrs.FireStation and I are just two weeks away from being under the same roof. Heaven help us (or her, at least)! We’ve been talking a lot about daily routines and what they might look like. We don’t have any concrete plans, but we will fall into them soon, I’m sure.
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What quiet, harmonious and loving routines you have built. I wish everyone would share such sweet tales about retirement. If you get a chance maybe you could share this on Wednesday at the Senior Salon.
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I’ll plan on it! Thanks Bernadette!
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We don’t have many routines in retirement since no day is the same as another. But, better than routines, as you pointed out, are the fun, silly, private, comfortable and comforting “rituals” we develop in a relationship that only the two participants know. The jokes that need no punchline, the memories that are shared, the secrets that we keep. I loved the little peek you provided into your world.
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Like you said, silly, private, comfortable and comforting. That’s exactly how it feels!
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I feel the love in this post…and it warmed my heart. We don’t have any new, beautiful routines (yet?), merely a slower pace of life, time to just be, and time to be together. I plan, he laughs, and then goes along with it. We create new memories. And that makes retirement wonderful.
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Sounds like a great routine to me.
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Something to look forward to in the near future! Hubby still has a few years and even though I’m semi-retired, I’m still teaching!
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All routines alter over time, as people and circumstances change. Nothing stays the same unfortunately. Enjoy your retirement!
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Thanks, Stevie! We certainly are!
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I retired first and then talked my husband into joining me. Having both been school administrators, we really enjoyed being able to sit down together and have lunch, rather than standing eating during lunch duty in the cafeteria. This is a warm post filled with love.
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I hear that, sister! I just visited the barn and read your story! Congratulations on all you’re learning in your second act! Fun, isn’t it!
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It really is!
No one is the Boss a Me!
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I love this so much! What sweet little rituals you have. Thanks for sharing on Love the Everyday.
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Glad you came today. More people need to here this perspective.
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No gagging here! Just sounds like lots of loving moments! I was laid off from a community college last Fall so feeling somewhat retired and my husband is “contemplating” it a little….nice to think of the new possibilities!
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Oh my gosh, you’re about to start your own Encore Voyage! Sounds a lot like us at the start! Scary as all get out and rich with possibilities! You are going to LOVE what lies ahead!
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Lynn, I really enjoyed reading this post and can relate. My spouse and I are also retired, and certainly the routines have changed – no rushing these days. Thanks, have a great day! 🙂
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